I Found Them...

...the illusive smiles of Iris and Esme.

Iris

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Esme

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Even Eli got in on the action. Note the blurriness of the photo. Eli was jumping up and down. I think I mentioned earlier, that Eli rarely sits still long enough for a picture.

There is nothing better than a smiling baby or a smiling child. Their whole face lights up. Their eyes sparkle. If you are ever feeling even a little down, a smiling baby will perk you right up!

My Last Bottle of Breastmilk

This is the last bottle of breastmilk I will likely ever produce. I recently decided to stop expressing milk for Esme and Iris. This was a terribly hard decision to make, but in the end, I have made peace with it.

I tried so hard to get Esme and Iris nursing after they were born. At first, I thought we were going to get it. But, six weeks prematurity and a nasty case of reflux proved to be too much for us. So, I resigned myself to expressing milk and providing it to them by bottle. For the last few months, several times a day, I have strapped myself to a breast pump and expressed milk. For those of you who have never had such a pleasure, I will spare you the details, but frankly, expressing milk is NOT AT ALL fun. Nor for me is it all that easy. But, after 3 1/2 months, I have decided to stop.

For far too long I have focused on what I can't do or what I have not done. I realize this is crazy. It has taken me a while, but I no longer see this as quitting, rather, I focus on what I have been able to do. For 8 weeks I nursed two premature babies, helping them grow and strengthen. For 3 1/2 months I provided my twins with my breastmilk. And for more than 6 weeks, my babies were fed exclusively on my milk. I am so proud of these accomplishments.

But, there is a part of me that is still very sad. This is it. I will likely never nurse another baby. I will likely never provide another baby with my milk because I will likely never have another baby. I don't think I want any more children. With my pregnancy experiences, I am pretty sure that I never want to be pregnant again. But it is just a small part of me that is sad, because, while I will never have this experience again, I have three beautiful, amazing children and I have a lifetime of new mommy experiences ahead of me.

Some Pics to Share

Welcome Mika Rowe.....

Last Saturday, our friends, Elsa and Vin Rowe welcomed their second baby, Mika. The Monday prior to little Mika's arrival, Elsa and I met for a play date at the Reiche School Playground with her older child, Ramona, and Eli. How impressed I was with Elsa (and a bit jealous) as I watched her walk around the playground playing with Ramona, as I have never seen that stage of pregnancy vertical before!

Elsa, Baby Mika, and Big Sister Ramona

A rare pic of me with all three of my kids. Eli is a bit hard to get to sit still long enough to take a picture these days.

We made Easter cards for Grammy Lil and Papa (Jesse's parents) and Minnie and Papa (my parents)
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Making Easter Eggs

Eli and I colored Easter Eggs today. This was the first time we have done this project. He did a really good job dunking the eggs and was very patient waiting for the color to take. Here are some pics from the project. If you look closesly you will see that the egg dye was placed inside Thanksgiving cups and Eli is wearing a Halloween shirt. What can I say...we really love our holidays around here!

Eli Making a Red Egg

Making a Blue Egg

Getting Ready to Dunk an Egg

Relaxing While Waiting for the Eggs to Dry

The Finished Product!

I hope the Easter Bunny likes the eggs as much as I do. I can't wait for him to run around the house looking for them Sunday morning!

First Week on the New Job

I just had my first week home with all three kids. Nothing all that special happened but it was a very busy, exhausting week. Eli has preschool on Tuesday and Thursday mornings. I was pretty impressed I got him there on time both days. We had two play dates, to the Riche playground with Ramona on Monday and a trip Eddie's house on Friday. By the end of each day, each child had been fed and had napped. Overall, it was a very successful week. Eli keeps me on my toes!

I never saw myself in this role as a stay-at-home mom. I have never been really good at staying home. I easily get stir crazy. However, if 14 weeks of bedrest taught me anything it was how to be still. It has been nice to be able to get my house organized. To take care of my home and take care of my children and frankly take care of myself. When I was working full time I was constantly stressed for time. I was always looking for time. Looking for time to work, looking for time to be home. I had a very hard time striking that work/home balance.

That is not to say that I don't miss working, because I do. I haven't worked outside my home since September. I will return to some work very soon, but after giving it long thought, I may not return to my profession (at least not full-time) for awhile. While I do miss my law practice considerably, I do not miss the stress that comes with trying to balance being a full-time attorney with being a mom. Besides, right now I really want to and really need to focus on being a mother. I have a lifetime to build a law practice. I have only a few years before my kids start school.

Happily Average

This past Thursday was the girls three month birthday. My how much has changed in just three months. Esme and Iris were born 6 weeks early. While they were pretty good sized babies for their gestational age at birth, they were still much smaller than the average size full term baby. Esme (baby A) was 5 lbs 6 oz and Iris (baby B) was 5 lbs 14 oz.

Esme and Iris - 2 1/2 weeks old

On their three month birthday both girls had doubled their birth weights. Esme now weighs in at 11 lbs 7.5 oz and Iris is 11 lbs 14 ounces. But it is more than just how much they weigh. The girls have caught up with their age group. Both girls are now in the 50th percentile on the growth charts, which means they are both average size compared to other babies of the same age. Despite being born 6 weeks premature, it took these beautiful girls only 3 months to completely catch up. They are not only caught up in weights but are also right on track developmentally as well.

Check out these chunky monkeys......

Esme and Iris - 3 months old

Both girls have started smiling. I see the smiles come and go throughout the day. However, each is so fleeting I have yet to catch one of these illusive smiles on camera. They are holding their heads up well. They are cooing at us. Each day it seems they are doing something new. Also, both girls are sleeping much better now. Typically, their bed time is around 8:00 p.m. They sleep until 11:30 - 1:00, get up for a bottle, and then go down again until 4:30-6:00 a.m. This schedule has been greatly appreciated by Jesse and I. We are still pretty tired, but at least we are all getting some longer stretches of sleep.

A Trip to the Promenade

Yesterday was an absolutely beautiful day here in Southern Maine. The sun was shining. The wind was minimal. It was about 50 degrees. Feeling a bit vitamin D deficient, we packed up all three kiddos and went into Portland to the Eastern Promenade. Portland has a great trails program and there are a number of really great walking paths all over town. This bike/walking trail runs along the eastern side of the Portland peninsula. Along the path is the harbor, the East End Beach, and the Narrow Gage Rail Way. Eli has been crazy about trains lately, so we thought this would be the perfect path for a walk as the train comes by regularly.

Eli

Eli and Mom (me)

Esme all snuggled in the stroller

Iris all snuggled into the stroller

Eli waving to the train conductor

Eli and Dad (Jesse) looking out at the East End Beach

Mom (me) pointing out a Ferry in the Harbor

It was a short trip but well worth it. Winter is finally coming to a close here. Maine is starting to come back to life as its inhabitants are starting to come back out of their houses. There were tons of people out and about. A lot of parents out with strollers and little kids. Most days are still pretty chilly and we are sure to get at least one or two more storms, but after being cooped up inside all winter (and for me, the fall too) it has been wonderful to start spending some time outside again.