Monday, April 26, 2010

Census Apprehension

Tomorrow is my first day of training for my new part-time temporary gig as an enumerator for the 2010 census.  It will also be the first full day that I will be spending away from my girls since they came home. 

I am feeling a little anxiety about leaving for a full day.  I have to say I am a bit surprised by this feeling.  It is not as though I don't have experience with an 8-5:00 work day.  Until last September, when I was placed on bed rest, I was a practicing attorney.  So Eli has been in some sort of daycare since he was 12 weeks old.  I am familiar with the feelings of leaving a baby in the care of others. And, it is my mom and Jesse's mom who will be doing the care-giving this week, so it is not like I have a stranger who will be caring for them.

Moreover, this is not the first time that I will be leaving them.  When they were in NICU, I was typically only able to spend part of the morning and afternoon with them.  I was home with Eli every evening and overnight.  Also, Jesse and I have been out a few times since they were born and I have left them with other caregivers a few times to run errands.

But still, I am sad that I will be away every day this week and that I will miss this time with the girls and with Eli.  I am afraid of what I will miss.  Esme started to giggle this week and Iris seems like she is right on the verge.  I don't want to miss the first time she belts out laughter.  Eli has been so funny during the day time lately.  He really seems to like spending the days with me.  I have really come to enjoy my time home with all three of my kids.  I am looking forward to being out of the house for a bit, as I do go a bit stir crazy being home most days.  And, I think I will definitely enjoy some adult conversation that isn't interrupted by crying babies, diaper changes, and redirecting a rambunctious three year old.  But still, I think by lunchtime I might be watching the clock waiting for 4:30 to roll around so that I can get home.

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