A New Life

So, I have decided to join the ranks of on-line jounalers. My life has been so crazy over the last year, and the last few months especially, that it seemed like a good idea to write some of it down. I have tried keeping journals in the past and have never been very successful, but this time I think it will be different.

To catch you up on my life, just over 5 weeks ago, I gave birth to twin baby girls. While all children are a blessing, these girls are miracles. A normal full term pregnancy is 40 weeks. At just 20 weeks into this pregnancy I was placed on modified bed rest due to what is so artfully called an "incompetent" cervix. What a terrible diagnosis! If it was not enough that the pregnancy was at risk, it had to be at risk because some part of me was "incompetent." What this medical term translates to is essentially that my cervix began to shorten, thin, and dilate long before it was supposed to. As a result, early delivery was a constant concern.

I did 4 weeks of this modified bed rest at home. However, at 23 weeks and 6 days, after an ultrasound indicated that I had only 15 mm left of my cervix (normal is 3 or more cm) I was put on strict hospital bed rest. On the day I checked in, I had started dilating, a sign that labor was imminent. So there I lay in my hospital room in the Prenatal Care Unit at Maine Medical Center for 10 weeks until I finally could push my labor back no further and my twin baby girls were delivered at 34 weeks and 1 day.

Saving the pregnancy became my complete existence. My former life was completely on hold as I became a full time incubator. For weeks I remained mostly still. For weeks I was away from my home and my family. My husband, Jesse, and my then 2 year old son, Eli, came to visit me in my hospital room 4 or 5 times a week. I put my career on hold. I shifted my parenting duties to my husband. I missed my son's transition from a crib to a big boy bed. I missed Halloween. I was granted a furlough for Thanksgiving, my only trip outside the hospital during my entire stay. In fact, I missed an entire season. When I went into the hospital it was still fairly warm outside and when I came home there was snow on the ground. But my babies were saved. When I checked into Maine Med my pregnancy was barely viable. I now have two healthy happy baby girls. We beat the odds! This is nothing short of a miracle.

Now I am home but I have not returned to my previous life. A whole new life has begun. I am not at all sure what this life entails, except that I am pretty sure that I am not in the driver's seat anymore...in fact, as I am typing Iris has started to wake up..."come on mom, its time to feed me" I hear in her cries.