Happy Halloween

 Eddie, Eli, Sage

Halloween has never really been one of my favorite holidays.  Many of my friends like to get all dressed up and have Halloween parties.  I have participated in a number of these over the years.  Generally, I throw a costume together at the last minute.  Halloween has been more fun since I had children.  It is fun to get the kids dressed up and go trick-or-treating.  But still, as a general rule, I much prefer Christmas and Thanksgiving.

But this year was different.  This year, I SO looked forward to Halloween.  Last year, I spent Halloween in a hospital.  I did not get to take my son trick-or-treating.  Eli and I were able to participate in the Halloween parade that the staff put on for the kids at the Barbara Bush Children's Hospital and I remain thankful to this day that we were invited to participate, but it just wasn't the same.  Eli had to be brought to me by a friend and I had to be pushed in a wheelchair by a nurse while my friend helped Eli through the parade.

This year, I volunteered to organize the Halloween Party for the Mothers of Multiples Club, I had all of my kids' costumes picked out by the last week in September, and I arranged our trick-or-treating plans weeks in advance of the actual day.  The party was a hit, and gave us an opportunity to get the girls dressed up in costume, as that was a morning event.  Trick-or-treating was fun!  The girls didn't quite make it, so Jesse brought them home, but Eli and I walked around our friends' neighborhood with their kids and another family.  I still threw together a very last minute costume (literally, Amanda gave me some devil ears, a devil tail, and that pitchfork thing that the devil carries just before we walked out the door...thanks Amanda!)  But how fun it was to take Eli door to door.  To see his excitement as he ran up each driveway screaming "Trick or Treat!"  It was a very cold night, but I couldn't have cared less.

So much I am thankful this year.  My experiences last fall make me appreciate every second of my life and my children's lives.  I still think of my time in the hospital almost daily.  The worry, the discomfort, the fear.  It was such a profound experience.  I thank God every day for the way things turned out and I appreciate the smallest things, like trick-or-treating with my son, in a way that I took for granted before.  

 Esme (Flower) & Iris (Butterfly)

 Iris

 Esme

Eli & Sage

 Eli, Eddie, & Sage

 Eddie, Eli, & Sage

Dori

Twin Fascination

Being a Mother of Multiples requires a good sense of humor and a great deal of patience.  And I am not talking about dealing with my children.  Whenever we go out in public we are bombarded with questions, comments, people approaching, etc.  I think I have heard more than a thousand times, "boy, you have your hands full..."  Like I hadn't noticed.  I usually just smile and agree.  It is true.  I DO have my hands full.  The second most popular comment is "God bless you."  I often respond to this that "I believe, that God thinks he already has."  I am also surprised how many people ask me "are they twins?"  This always makes me laugh a bit.  Unless those who ask are thinking I am carting around someone else's baby along with my other two children, I wonder, what else they think the girls could be.  Sometimes I consider saying no, just to see what response I get.

Most of the time I don't mind the attention we get.  I love showing off the girls.  Sometimes, however, I wish we could get in and out of places without being noticed.  Last week, I tried to make a quick trip to Wal-Mart.  I had a very finite amount of time.  I was stopped no less than five times in the half hour I was in the store.  A few people even stopped me while I was walking so that their baby or child could look at my TWO babies.  Today, I was at Target to get diapers.  I was stopped by an older couple who told me their whole life stories with their involvement with multiples.  The husband was a triplet who had twin older brothers.  The wife told me about how she thought she was pregnant with twins but believes she lost one of the babies.  Very personal stuff.  They asked me question upon question about my pregnancy and my babies.  I tried to be polite and accommodating, but twenty minutes later I still hadn't gotten my diapers.  I finally had to wish them well and be on my way.  I need to find a polite way to acknowledge people's interest without having to get so involved in conversation.

I guess I am a bit surprised at how much attention we attract when we go out.  I mean, they are really cute babies, so I guess I understand why.  And most people are very nice when they approach me and genuinely seem curious.  I know twins are special (as all children are) but honestly, twins don't seem so uncommon to me.  But then, this is my life.  Plus, I have been meeting a lot of other families with mulitples lately, so it has become a  normal family dynamic to me.

I think/hope that the questions and the interruptions will subside a bit as the girls get older and errands will be interrupted only by the normal and frequent needs of our children.  Perhaps less people will notice that the girls are the same age as they start to grow into their own looks and their own personalities.  They are not identical, so they could develop very differently.  But for now, I will just try to enjoy the extra attention.  No one is going to ask us to make a show about our family life, but there is usually someone willing to open a door for me or help me get things off of shelves or take stuff out to my car and that is nice.  Because, while sometimes I wish I could remain a little more invisible, the truth is, I often really need and appreciate the help.  

Bunny Love

We received as a gift these two cute little bunny loveys for the girls.  They are really soft and very adorable.  Additionally, they have wrist loops on the backs of them so we can loop them around the girls arms so that they can hold on to them.  Both girls really seem to enjoy the bunnies.  How cute it is to see them snuggle with them!  Thanks Melinda and Ted!  The bunnies are a big hit!

Iris and Her Bunny Lovey

Esme and Her Bunny Lovey

First Fast Food

I was out shopping this morning with the girls and I forgot to bring bottles with me. It just isn't in the forefront of my brain. Eli nursed until he was almost a year so food was always on tap. Although the girls had just eaten not even an hour before, Iris woke up in the middle of Babies R Us and started screaming. Screaming as though she had never been fed ever before in her entire life. A little dramatic, I know, but I had to do something. Thankfully, I was in a baby store, so I knew I would find something to help me. What did I find?  Her first "fast-food" meal -- a single serve 8 oz bottle with nipple of readymade formula. Hallelujah! For $2.50 I was able to make the crying stop. I bought an extra just in case Esme decided to follow in her sister's footsteps!

I Found Them...

...the illusive smiles of Iris and Esme.

Iris

-------

Esme

----

Even Eli got in on the action. Note the blurriness of the photo. Eli was jumping up and down. I think I mentioned earlier, that Eli rarely sits still long enough for a picture.

There is nothing better than a smiling baby or a smiling child. Their whole face lights up. Their eyes sparkle. If you are ever feeling even a little down, a smiling baby will perk you right up!

My Last Bottle of Breastmilk

This is the last bottle of breastmilk I will likely ever produce. I recently decided to stop expressing milk for Esme and Iris. This was a terribly hard decision to make, but in the end, I have made peace with it.

I tried so hard to get Esme and Iris nursing after they were born. At first, I thought we were going to get it. But, six weeks prematurity and a nasty case of reflux proved to be too much for us. So, I resigned myself to expressing milk and providing it to them by bottle. For the last few months, several times a day, I have strapped myself to a breast pump and expressed milk. For those of you who have never had such a pleasure, I will spare you the details, but frankly, expressing milk is NOT AT ALL fun. Nor for me is it all that easy. But, after 3 1/2 months, I have decided to stop.

For far too long I have focused on what I can't do or what I have not done. I realize this is crazy. It has taken me a while, but I no longer see this as quitting, rather, I focus on what I have been able to do. For 8 weeks I nursed two premature babies, helping them grow and strengthen. For 3 1/2 months I provided my twins with my breastmilk. And for more than 6 weeks, my babies were fed exclusively on my milk. I am so proud of these accomplishments.

But, there is a part of me that is still very sad. This is it. I will likely never nurse another baby. I will likely never provide another baby with my milk because I will likely never have another baby. I don't think I want any more children. With my pregnancy experiences, I am pretty sure that I never want to be pregnant again. But it is just a small part of me that is sad, because, while I will never have this experience again, I have three beautiful, amazing children and I have a lifetime of new mommy experiences ahead of me.

Some Pics to Share

Welcome Mika Rowe.....

Last Saturday, our friends, Elsa and Vin Rowe welcomed their second baby, Mika. The Monday prior to little Mika's arrival, Elsa and I met for a play date at the Reiche School Playground with her older child, Ramona, and Eli. How impressed I was with Elsa (and a bit jealous) as I watched her walk around the playground playing with Ramona, as I have never seen that stage of pregnancy vertical before!

Elsa, Baby Mika, and Big Sister Ramona

A rare pic of me with all three of my kids. Eli is a bit hard to get to sit still long enough to take a picture these days.

We made Easter cards for Grammy Lil and Papa (Jesse's parents) and Minnie and Papa (my parents)
.

Happily Average

This past Thursday was the girls three month birthday. My how much has changed in just three months. Esme and Iris were born 6 weeks early. While they were pretty good sized babies for their gestational age at birth, they were still much smaller than the average size full term baby. Esme (baby A) was 5 lbs 6 oz and Iris (baby B) was 5 lbs 14 oz.

Esme and Iris - 2 1/2 weeks old

On their three month birthday both girls had doubled their birth weights. Esme now weighs in at 11 lbs 7.5 oz and Iris is 11 lbs 14 ounces. But it is more than just how much they weigh. The girls have caught up with their age group. Both girls are now in the 50th percentile on the growth charts, which means they are both average size compared to other babies of the same age. Despite being born 6 weeks premature, it took these beautiful girls only 3 months to completely catch up. They are not only caught up in weights but are also right on track developmentally as well.

Check out these chunky monkeys......

Esme and Iris - 3 months old

Both girls have started smiling. I see the smiles come and go throughout the day. However, each is so fleeting I have yet to catch one of these illusive smiles on camera. They are holding their heads up well. They are cooing at us. Each day it seems they are doing something new. Also, both girls are sleeping much better now. Typically, their bed time is around 8:00 p.m. They sleep until 11:30 - 1:00, get up for a bottle, and then go down again until 4:30-6:00 a.m. This schedule has been greatly appreciated by Jesse and I. We are still pretty tired, but at least we are all getting some longer stretches of sleep.

Food From the Heart

I think that food has got to be the best gift to parents of a new baby, or in our case babies. We have received so many great food gifts since bringing the twins home. This has made our lives so much easier as there is so much to do that it is nice to have a healthy yummy ready to go meal. The food we have received is so much yummier than anything we can get delivered! Also it is so wonderful to try all these new dishes that we have never made for ourselves.

Our friends Dawn Weirs and Hayley Roberts (the Butler sisters) brought us two delicious Zucchini Casseroles and an American Lasagna. They also stayed overnight and gave us a night off, sleeping with the girls and handling all the night shifts. Seriously, girls, you can come back anytime!!!!!

Saul and Carolyn (my brother in law and his wife) gave us a gift certificate for Make Thyme for Dinner in South Portland, for 8 prepared meals. So far we have had a fantastic Tuscan Beef Stew, a Vegetarian Tamale Pie, and Cranberry Pomegranate Pork Medallions. We have 5 more delicious meals still in the freezer we cannot wait to try.

Our friends and neighbors, John and Elisha made us one of the best Sheppard's Pies I have ever had. I am not sure what their secret is but it was really good.

Our friends Amanda and Ed came to visit one night and brought dinner with them, a pot roast with carrots and potatoes. This is the best kind of dinner guests!

Our friends Lisa and Erik, who also have twin baby boys a bit older than our girls and a daughter the same age as our son, brought us a Chicken Tagine with Couscous and Green Salad with Carrots and Mushrooms. I loved this one so much, I just had to include the recipe. Thanks for providing me with it Lisa!

Chicken Tagine in a Slow Cooker (serves 4 over rice, pasta, or couscous)

4 boneless chicken breast (about 1.25 lbs)
1 1/4 tsp salt
1 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp ginger
1/2 tsp coriander
1/2 tsp turmeric
1/2 tsp black pepper
1 medium red onion thinly sliced
2 large carrots, peeled and sliced
1 large garlic clove minced
1 cup chicken or veggie stock
2 tbsp of honey
1 tbsp of fresh lemon juice
1 tbsp of tomato paste
1/4 cup raisins
1/4 cup chopped dried apricots
1 tbsp of corn starch whisked into 2 tbsp of cold water

In slow cooker combine chicken, salt, spices, onion, carrots and garlic. In a small bowl whisk together broth, honey, lemon juice, and tomato paste then pour into slow cooker. Sprinkle with raisins and apricots. Cook for 5 hours on high or 8 hours on low. At the end of the time, whisk together the corn starch and water and add to the pot. Cook until the juices are thickened slightly. Pull chicken apart with a fork (optional). Stir and then Serve.

Garnish suggestions - chopped cilantro, almonds, sliced green olives.

I have no idea who this recipe originally belongs to, but it is delicious! I hope that you also enjoy it.

Thanks so much to everyone who has brought us food and if I have forgotten anyone in this note, I apologize, as you can imagine I am very tired! We are so appreciative.

Starting to Get the Hang of This

So being the mom of a three year old is pretty hard work. Add twin newborns to that and you have the equivalent of three full time jobs! But I am starting to get the hang of this. This past week, I have started to see some patterns develop and some routines begin to be established. This is very encouraging.

We have actually taken the whole family on two trips now, both about 1.5 - 2 hours from our house. Our first trip was to Etna to visit with my parents, sister, brother, and all of the cousins. It was a fun trip, but a mad house. Esme and Iris are grandchildren seven and eight. Four boys, four girls, the oldest being my niece Kaylee, age 5. It is so much fun to watch all of the older kids play together. Our second trip was yesterday to Candia, NH, to Jesse's parents house. Another success. The girls did great in the car and Eli sang us songs all the way down.


We have, of course, become a minivan family. There are very few vehicles out there that will fit three car seats. I never saw myself in a minivan, but I must tell you, I LOVE it! Nothing fancy, an old Dodge Caravan, but it has so much room. We have always driven small compact cars, so the minivan feels like traveling in first class.

Eli is really adjusting well to the additions to our family. He really seems to love his sisters, or at least the idea of them. Most of the time, he doesn't seem to notice them. But when he talks about them or asks about them, he lights right up. His eyes get wide and a smile comes across his face. He has only once asked for them to go back to the hospital, and, I think that was because he actually misses trips to the hospital. I guess Maine Med is a pretty exciting place to visit when you are three. Especially when dad lets you push all of the buttons in the elevator!

There have definitely been some bumps and unexpected curves in the road but we are definitely starting to function as a family again. This has been a long time in coming, given the length of separation we had during the pregnancy. It is so wonderful to wake up every morning and find myself surrounded by my husband and children. I feel so blessed.

New Mommy Second Time Around

Bringing home my first baby was unmatched by any other experience. I have heard that this is true for other moms as well. There are not words to accurately describe how and what I felt when I first held Eli. When he was placed into my arms, I knew at that moment, I really truly understood what unconditional love is. I didn't notice, until months after it was over, how much work having a newborn baby was. Despite the fact that he never slept, he cried a lot, he always needed a diaper change approximately two minutes after changing the last one, I was in love with every moment we spent together.

My feelings for Esme and Iris are not different. Upon meeting each of them I felt a deep and unweilding love. In fact, I am truly surprised at the infinite amount of love the human heart has to offer. But it is different this time. I have to admit, I am not so "in love" with every moment, even though I am so in love with my daughters. I am noticing this time that having a newborn is work and having two newborns is A LOT of work. I am willing to admit that I miss my sleep...oh how I miss my sleep! I don't find myself staring at my babies for hours on end just amazed that they are my babies. I am willing to accept any offer from any person to change a diaper, give a bath, change an outfit. And I accept every single offer for Jesse and I to get out and get some time to ourselves never sure when the next opportunity to do so will come along. This is something I never did the first time. I think it was months before we left Eli home alone with another caregiver.

But, all that said, today, I had my first full day home with my girls by myself. It was wonderful. Today, I did not worry about dishes needing to be done or picking up the toys in the livingroom. I didn't think of the thank you cards that still need to be sent. Today, I sat and enjoyed my daughters. I tried to recapture that feeling that I had when Eli first came home and, for a good part of the day, I felt it. We spent the day nursing and cuddling and just getting to know each other. Today, I spent time staring at my babies amazed that they are my babies.

It is easier this second time around to get lost in the craziness of life and forget to take the time to marvel in being a new mommy. Today, I reminded myself how important it is to take this time.