Happy Halloween

 Eddie, Eli, Sage

Halloween has never really been one of my favorite holidays.  Many of my friends like to get all dressed up and have Halloween parties.  I have participated in a number of these over the years.  Generally, I throw a costume together at the last minute.  Halloween has been more fun since I had children.  It is fun to get the kids dressed up and go trick-or-treating.  But still, as a general rule, I much prefer Christmas and Thanksgiving.

But this year was different.  This year, I SO looked forward to Halloween.  Last year, I spent Halloween in a hospital.  I did not get to take my son trick-or-treating.  Eli and I were able to participate in the Halloween parade that the staff put on for the kids at the Barbara Bush Children's Hospital and I remain thankful to this day that we were invited to participate, but it just wasn't the same.  Eli had to be brought to me by a friend and I had to be pushed in a wheelchair by a nurse while my friend helped Eli through the parade.

This year, I volunteered to organize the Halloween Party for the Mothers of Multiples Club, I had all of my kids' costumes picked out by the last week in September, and I arranged our trick-or-treating plans weeks in advance of the actual day.  The party was a hit, and gave us an opportunity to get the girls dressed up in costume, as that was a morning event.  Trick-or-treating was fun!  The girls didn't quite make it, so Jesse brought them home, but Eli and I walked around our friends' neighborhood with their kids and another family.  I still threw together a very last minute costume (literally, Amanda gave me some devil ears, a devil tail, and that pitchfork thing that the devil carries just before we walked out the door...thanks Amanda!)  But how fun it was to take Eli door to door.  To see his excitement as he ran up each driveway screaming "Trick or Treat!"  It was a very cold night, but I couldn't have cared less.

So much I am thankful this year.  My experiences last fall make me appreciate every second of my life and my children's lives.  I still think of my time in the hospital almost daily.  The worry, the discomfort, the fear.  It was such a profound experience.  I thank God every day for the way things turned out and I appreciate the smallest things, like trick-or-treating with my son, in a way that I took for granted before.  

 Esme (Flower) & Iris (Butterfly)

 Iris

 Esme

Eli & Sage

 Eli, Eddie, & Sage

 Eddie, Eli, & Sage

Dori

Come On Eli, Its Time to Potty...Update

Just over a week ago, Eli finally gave up Pull-Ups at night.  Night times were our last bastion of potty training.  The first morning he woke up wet and cold, but there has been only one more night accident since then.  Potty training has been hard and a long road, but we finally made it.  That's not to say we don't have an accident here and there, but, Eli is three, its to be expected. 

Way to go Eli!  I am so proud of you!!!  Now only two more kids to go...

Back to Camping - A weekend at Coos Canyon

Jesse and I were avid campers and hikers before we had children. We have hiked many of New England's tallest mountains, including Katahdin and Washington. We have backpacked into campsites several miles into trails. We had mastered car camping and were on our way to becomming skilled backpackers. Then we had kids. We swore, when we became pregnant with Eli, that just because we were having a baby, we were not going to give up the things we loved the most. And, for the most part, that was true. We still do most of the things we loved to do in our "before kids" life. But camping was one of the few things that fell by the wayside.

First, pregnancy made me very very ill. So we did not camp at all the summer I was pregnant with Eli. Logistically, it seemed impossible. I needed to get to a safe place to vomit in a very short amount of time, usually without any warning at all. The several zippers that must be undone in order to exit a tent seemed like a formidable barrier. And after Eli was born, it all still seemed too complicated. Serious hiking was out - too dangerous with a baby on your back. Even short hikes seemed overwhelming. Backpacking, for even a short trip, too became an impossibility. We could not bring enough stuff if one of us were carrying the baby. Even car camping seemed too hard to plan. Where would the baby sleep? Would he sleep in a tent by himself without becoming scared? Would we all have to go to bed at 7:00? The overwhelming sense of the unknown got the better of us, and we just gave up trying. By the time Eli finally seemed old enough to have fun on a camping trip, I was pregnant with the girls, and once again was sick sick sick...the circle started again.

But this last weekend we finally took the plunge and jumped back in again. And, we had a BLAST! It makes me wonder what we were so afraid of. It was not as easy as it used to be, and, it is a good thing that we went with others because we forgot SO many things, but overall it was a great success.

We borrowed a tent (thank you Wiers Family!) big enough to put the pack-n-plays in, so the girls had cribs to sleep in. We have been reading books to Eli about camping, so he was all psyched to sleep in a sleeping bag in the tent. We went with my parents, my sister's family, and my brother's family joined us the second night. There were plenty of kids around to keep each other entertained. And, there was plenty of time, after kids went to bed, for the grown-ups to sit around the fire, drink a few beers and make smores. It was a busy few days, with a trip to Santa's Village thrown in, but, it was so fun to share with Eli and the girls something Jesse and I so love to do. It may be awhile yet before there are any big backpacking adventures (at least, with our children) but I think another car camping trip may be in order soon.

Connor and Tyler Boone

Eli Checking Out the Reindeer

Me, Eli, and Iris on the Sky Tram

My Parents

The Stenbak Family

Kaylee, Connor, Me, Eli

Eli

Kaylee

Dalaney

Iris and Esme

Crystal and Ben

Weekends at the Cabin

Some of my best memories as a kid are the days we spent at our family camp.  There were always tons of us crammed into the one small building.  My parents, sister, brother, friends, my uncles, aunts, cousins.  All of us slept up in a loft on mattresses on the floor.  There was swimming, fishing, boating, tubing, marshmallows toasted on a campfire, walks down the dirt road.  The memories are so crystal clear.  I even remember the long car rides to the camp like I just took one yesterday.

Jesse's parents, Jan and Roger, have a cabin on Northeast Pond in Milton, NH.  Even though our lives are endlessly busy, especially in the summer, we try to spend as much time there during the summer as possible.  Being there brings back all those childhood memories for me.  I am thrilled that we have a place to bring our kids so they can have those same experiences.  

Here are some pics from a few weekends this summer.

Eli heading up to the Cabin from the Water

The View from the Lower Porch

Eli and I on the Dock

Jesse

Jesse and Eli on a Canoe Ride

Jesse and Eli Checking Out a Snail

Iris and Esme Napping on a Walk

Eli - So Proud of the Rock that He Found

A Day Trip to a Nearby Strawberry Farm

Esme and I

Come on Eli, It's Time to Potty...

Potty Training SUCKS! But then, so does changing diapers on a 3 1/2 year old. So, we must persevere - for now at least.

This past Sunday, we decided to start seriously potty training with Eli. We have been trying pull-ups for the past month or so, with no success. For those of you who remain lucky enough to not know what a pull-up is, it is essentially a diaper that works like underwear. It does not have tabs, so you have to pull it up like a pair of underwear. This means that every time you need to change the pull-up, everything else needs to come off. I guess the fact that it comes up and down like underwear is supposed to motivate the child to want to use the potty instead of the pull-up. If there is a parent out there that has actually had this experience I envy you.

Anyway, on Sunday, we decided to try putting Eli in underwear to see how that would go. I know a number of people who have had good success with this method. I am hoping that he wont like the feeling of being wet and that this will motivate him, along with a sticker chart and M&M rewards system, to use the bathroom, but I am not sure this will be the case for us. On day one, we had ok success - about 50%. Day two was better - about 70% success, but day three was a disaster. 0% success. I spent the whole day cleaning up messes and changing clothes. The last couple of days have been better, but being wet, or poopy for that matter, doesn't seem to bother Eli in the least. This might mean that he is not really ready and this attempt may be futile, but if nothing else, I think he is starting to become aware of when he does go to the bathroom and what that feels like. We will give it a couple weeks and see what happens. If it doesn't work, we will stop for now and try again in a month or so. I am trying not to stress out about it.

Sometimes, though, it is hard to keep the stress level down. First, it is not easy for me to remain calm when I am cleaning up puddles of pee all over my house. Sometimes I feel like my head might explode. Moreover, whenever we are struggling with something new, some new facet of parenthood, it seems that there is no shortage of superparents with magic children ready to tell me all about the ease of their experience with my latest struggle. Does this happen to you? Who are these parents out there that just breeze through child rearing? They are not people I know or who know me. Rather, they are the "well-meaning" (read annoying and self righteous) strangers who love to offer their advice when they happen upon me and my "insuperior" (read normal) parenting self. You know them, those people who approach you in the grocery store, or in the waiting room at the doctor's office, or any other random place. These superparents always happen to stumble across me just in time to discover my new parenting struggle and can't help but brag about how their children excelled at whatever issue I am now struggling with. Well, to you parents who have these magic children who have slept through the night at 6 days old, never cried, never whine, eats anything and everything, who are always well behaved and potty trained by 2 years old, in just a few days, I am sticking my tongue out at you the second you turn your back and walk away.

Fortunately, superparents, I can brush you off, because I have wonderful family and friend support who share their true experiences and offer supportive genuine advice. Who share stories of both their children's strengths and struggles and acknowledge the same in my children. And, I will meet a few strangers along the way who will reach out and do the same. So to those who share your stories of success and struggle, who offer advice not judgment, who lend a helping hand or a listening ear, who support us normal parents with normal children, I thank you. And to you, I smile as you walk away.

All of us parents have children who are good at some things and struggle with others (even the magic children of the superparents, I suspect). There are plenty of things Eli has been really good at, that he has picked up very quickly. I think learning to use the potty may not be one of them. But I have full confidence he will get it, even if not at a magically rapid rate. When I get really stressed out I try to take a deep breath, call on the strength and support of my normal parent brethren, and remember that this too shall pass. I will not have a 17 year old still in diapers, and if I do, god knows he will be changing his own!

Farmer's Market Morning

It is very important to both Jesse and I that our children understand where food comes from. We want them to understand that milk comes from cows, that eggs come from chickens, and that vegetables are grown on farms. When asked where a certain food product comes from, we don't want the response to be "the supermarket." To help us achieve this goal we try, to the extent possible, to eat mostly real food, whole food. Although we do eat a variety of bread and pasta products, we do not eat a significant amount of processed foods at home. (I wish I could say the same about when we eat out, but, that would be a lie.) Also, we have started a family tradition of going to the Farmer's Market on Saturday mornings. Portland is a farmer friendly city. We have a farmer's market three times a week, twice during the week in Monument Square, and Saturday mornings at Deering Oaks Park. Eli really loves it. There is so much to look at. So much for him to take in. We typically let him pick out one product. This morning he chose dill pickles. I can't wait to give those a try!

Here are some pics from our trip this morning.

Mmmmm...Radishes

Listening to the Band

Eli Trying Out the Hula Hoop

 

Iris and Esme

Iris decided she'd had enough of the market.

Stenbak Updates

It has been a busy few weeks around the Stenbak household.  Esme and Iris had their 4 month check up (a little late).  Both girls are doing so well!  Iris was 16 lbs 8.5 oz and Esme was 16 lbs 1.5 oz.  Both girls are above the 90th percentiles for their weight and in the 50th percentiles for their height.  A little short and stout...the apple doesn't fall that far from the tree.  It's hard to believe they were ever premies.  Tomorrow they will be 5 months old.  WOW, how quickly the time has passed.

The girls are doing all kinds of things now.  They love to look at each other.  It is fun to watch them interact.  They will coo back and forth like they are having a conversation.  Iris rolled over today from her belly to her back!  What a big girl.  And both girls can belly laugh.  I love it when they giggle.  It is so funny.  No matter how I am feeling at the time, I can't help it but start laughing myself!

Look How Much We Have Grown!

The Census job is going well.  I was promoted in my first week from Enumerator (a census taker) to a Crew Leader Assistant.  I still do some enumerating (counting people) but mostly I organize people and paperwork.  It is a pretty good job and I can do most of it from home.  But it will not last long.  We have a deadline to complete Non Response Follow Up (knocking on doors of those who didn't mail in the form), which is the phase of the census I am working for, by June 27th.  So I am on the search for a new part-time opportunity for the summer.

I am really enjoying being home with the kids during the day.  Honestly, I wasn't sure how this was going to go.  I never thought I would make a very good stay-at-home mom.  I thought I would be going crazy by the end of the week.  While there are some weeks like that, most are pretty good.  I am really starting to get a routine.  Like any job, there is a learning curve, and we are definitely on the upswing!  I think it is going to be a really fun summer!

I joined the Greater Portland Mother's of Multiples Club.  Just before Mother's Day we had a Spa Night.  It was really very fun.  Our meeting was held at Cherry Pie in Portland.  We got the choice of a few different mini spa treatments.  I chose a parafin treatment for my feet.  It was wonderful.  It was also nice to connect with other moms who have a similar family situation.  And the icing on the cake, there was a door prize, and I won.  A free Mani/Pedi!  Now I just have to find time to schedule it!

Here are some pictures from Mother's Day.  We went to Candia to celebrate with Jesse's parents, but first we stopped into the Prenatal Care Unit at Maine Medical Center where I lived all last fall to drop off some flowers for the current patients.  I know how much it sucks to be in the hospital on a holiday and I know what a wonderful thing all of these women are doing for their babies even before they are born!

Flowers for Prenatal Patients

Esme

Iris

Look at Iris Checking Esme Out.

The Proud Grandparents

Iris Covering Eli's Yawn

A Happy Mother's Day

I have beautiful amazing children and I am humbled to be my children's mother.  On this day I feel so lucky to have my handsome son and my beautiful daughters.  Eli picked out my Mother's Day gift this year.  A potted flower and a honey bear from a local farmer.  So wonderful to have a gift that he chose!

I am also blessed to have such a wonderful mother!  I believe firmly it is because of her guidance, her caring, her perseverance, and her example that I am a good mother.  Mom, I missed you today and I hope that you had a great day!

I HATE Automatic Locks

As I have mentioned previously before, we are now a minivan family.  One of the "lovely" features of my minivan is automatic door locking.  Specifically, when we go to get into the car, all of the doors automatically lock when the last door is shut.  This sounds harmless enough, right?  This morning, I put all of the kids in the car to bring Eli to his preschool program.  I had already locked up the house as we were pretty much ready to leave.  I placed my keys and my cell phone on the passenger seat and proceeded to get all the kids in the car.  After placing Iris in, without thinking about it, I closed the door before opening the door to the driver's seat.  Just as the doors closed, I heard it, that familiar click, the doors locked shut.  I was locked out of my house, out of my car, with no phone, and all three kids were locked inside the van.  I started to panic.  It is warm today, and this morning at 9:00 it had already reached 70 degrees.  I tried to talk Eli through unlocking his car seat buckle, but that was to no avail.  I had to run to a neighbor's house to use a phone and call Jesse.  He left immediately from work to come home and let me in to the car.  I was so afraid that the kids would get too hot.  I started to fear that I was about to become one of those mommies who bakes their children in the car.  I know this is an overreaction, but it was terrifying to not be able to help my kids.  Of course, if it had gotten much warmer, I would have just broken the window.

Just as I thought I could not stand it any longer, Jesse drove into the driveway and saved us all.  These automatic door locks seem like a real hazard to me.

Census Apprehension

Tomorrow is my first day of training for my new part-time temporary gig as an enumerator for the 2010 census.  It will also be the first full day that I will be spending away from my girls since they came home. 

I am feeling a little anxiety about leaving for a full day.  I have to say I am a bit surprised by this feeling.  It is not as though I don't have experience with an 8-5:00 work day.  Until last September, when I was placed on bed rest, I was a practicing attorney.  So Eli has been in some sort of daycare since he was 12 weeks old.  I am familiar with the feelings of leaving a baby in the care of others. And, it is my mom and Jesse's mom who will be doing the care-giving this week, so it is not like I have a stranger who will be caring for them.

Moreover, this is not the first time that I will be leaving them.  When they were in NICU, I was typically only able to spend part of the morning and afternoon with them.  I was home with Eli every evening and overnight.  Also, Jesse and I have been out a few times since they were born and I have left them with other caregivers a few times to run errands.

But still, I am sad that I will be away every day this week and that I will miss this time with the girls and with Eli.  I am afraid of what I will miss.  Esme started to giggle this week and Iris seems like she is right on the verge.  I don't want to miss the first time she belts out laughter.  Eli has been so funny during the day time lately.  He really seems to like spending the days with me.  I have really come to enjoy my time home with all three of my kids.  I am looking forward to being out of the house for a bit, as I do go a bit stir crazy being home most days.  And, I think I will definitely enjoy some adult conversation that isn't interrupted by crying babies, diaper changes, and redirecting a rambunctious three year old.  But still, I think by lunchtime I might be watching the clock waiting for 4:30 to roll around so that I can get home.

Our "New" Sandbox

So, for the record, I hate sandboxes. We have had one for all of 1 hour and the first time Eli came inside he tracked sand all through the house. While I find a sandbox less than endearing, Eli LOVES them! So, I being the good mommy I am, made a request on freecycle for a sandbox and we found one. Yesterday, the three kids and I all drove out to Steep Falls in the minivan to pick it up. It’s huge, bubbly plastic, and shaped like a tugboat. Of course it didn't fit in the minivan. So myself, and the woman who gave it to us strapped it to the roof of the minivan. What a sight that must have been -- a gold Dodge Grand Caravan traveling down Route 25 with a giant blue and yellow plastic tugboat sitting on top of it! This morning we packed back into the minivan and made our way to Lowes where I bought 500 pounds of sand. Eli couldn't even wait for me to put the sand in. He got his sand toys and sat in the box as I unloaded the bags. There he played for the next hour. It was about 50 degrees, windy and cold, but he was oblivious, having a super good time. And, he has been an absolute pleasure this afternoon. In fact he has told me I am "wonderful" at least three times since he got up from his nap. And, the macaroni and cheese lunch I made for him, not typically his favorite, was "delicious." I guess a sandbox isn't all bad after all.

I Wonder What the People Behind Me Were Thinking

Eli, Happy at Play

But Mom, I'm Not Tired...

My goal for the afternoon is to get all three kiddos fed and down for nap by 1:00.  However, Eli only naps every three days.  The rest of the days he plays in his room, not napping.  And it is always surprising if I get both girls down at the same time.  But sometimes I am successful.  And on those days I am truly thankful.  Today I thought was one of those days.  But no sooner had I bragged to a friend that I had all three kids in bed and actually sleeping than did Esme start crying.  I tried ignoring her, hoping she would fall back asleep.  But she is still little and not quite old enough for me to leave her for long.  She did NOT fall back asleep.  Instead she is wide awake hanging here with me.  Hey, what can I say?  Maybe she just wanted some alone time with mom.

Pretty Esme

First Fast Food

I was out shopping this morning with the girls and I forgot to bring bottles with me. It just isn't in the forefront of my brain. Eli nursed until he was almost a year so food was always on tap. Although the girls had just eaten not even an hour before, Iris woke up in the middle of Babies R Us and started screaming. Screaming as though she had never been fed ever before in her entire life. A little dramatic, I know, but I had to do something. Thankfully, I was in a baby store, so I knew I would find something to help me. What did I find?  Her first "fast-food" meal -- a single serve 8 oz bottle with nipple of readymade formula. Hallelujah! For $2.50 I was able to make the crying stop. I bought an extra just in case Esme decided to follow in her sister's footsteps!